As days go on by,
I know she is dying,
Killing me with her silence,
I feel so alone without her,
I: Oh almighty God! Today I keep all vanity aside and kneel before you. I know I am not deserving of your forgiveness but someone is. I cannot live like this. I confess to you my undying love for her. I cannot see her live life this way; dying every minute that passes. I can feel her pain. I can hear her cry in silence. What am I supposed to do? I don’t understand. Answer me!
God: You wronged her. You destroyed her life and now you stand in front of me and pretend innocence. You denied her life. You denied her the true feeling of being loved. You led her to her ill fate. You took her away from my ways. And now you seek my help!
I: Yes I ask for your help. She calls me the devil but I only am to others. For her, I have my love and concern to offer. I can feel what she feels. She is a part of my life that is dying. It is none of her fault. Don’t punish her for my wrong doing.
God: If you have only love for her then why did you betray her? Why did you not support her in her times of need? Why did you not wipe away her tears? Why did you run away from responsibility? You let her take your blame. Justify your actions.
I: I did not want her to see me cry. I felt loss too. I felt the pain too. I did not intend for her to fall. I wanted to be strong for her. I did not want “us” to fall.
God: So you ran away when she needed you most. This is what you call being strong for her.
I: I am sorry for my ill decision. But why did you let her fall? why did you chose to make her one of the undeserving? She was not like me. And just because…
God: She chose to walk the path of the undeserving. It was her choice to make. She wanted to walk with you. She trusted you.
(A sudden unbearable pain tore through me and I couldn’t help the tears flow)
I: I see now. You let her be influenced by me. Did you not love her enough to keep her by your side? We both let her fall. You are right. I, the devil, lured her towards the trap and You, the God she prayed to, let her fall. It was her choice to trust us both.
(I was cursed for my disrespecting choice of words and thus my plight to save her was hindered. God said He would think about it. I asked for forgiveness within my heart and walked away)