Where am I from?

A place where tall buildings overshadow narrow streets and bright lights reflect off crystallized buildings to dazzle our humanity, a place bright enough to shine over our barefaced rulers and business men who take pride on their paper, the paper they have cheated so hard to earn.
Liars and thieves are respected and innocence has no value. It was not always this way, I remember the same barefaced people stroking my hair as they walked by. They would smile and laugh at others happiness…And now they believe no one cares for their humanity, no one cares.
Where did we fail? When did innocence run out? When did our most dishonored become our champions? When will we learn?
I hope it is not too late.

A little Irregular (Poem)

Calling me at home
The life that you want to live
And as the story goes
We are growing dead and cold
Id like to say I do
But ill never ever love you
You hold me in your arms
But I don’t feel the same

Id like to take the blame
But its not all on me
Stop driving me insane
With your feelings of love
I think the only way
Is to run far away from me
But I don’t really care
Cause I am weak

You try so hard not to lose your faith
You find yourself on a crossroad
Where everything is in conflict in your head
And you know you cant go on like this

When the sun comes out you don’t feel alive
And the people that walk around are faceless
No one really cares where your coming from
Another life that’s lost…Another life that’s lost…

Queen Of Spades

Pieces

Our homeland is broken…Our mother is broken…We did this.

Super Kawaii

Breaking the light apart.

The Colours of Laughter.

Ghost in the forest.

Scratched Out

Modern and Antique.

Blend into One.

Sketch Out

Queen Of Hearts

from Jordan to Daisy.

Light in a form of Dark.

Lonely Nights.

Pattern

Our Stories (Art Work)

Our Stories.
Model – Louise.
Artwork – Sabature.

Neverland

This is a song about a guy who wants to escape away into another land. One day he sees a shooting star and remembers the story of Peter Pan. Sits down and writes a song about neverland..(True Story)

I cant sit and drown in sorrow…
That all the lonely days have gone away…
The other people cant seem to follow…
My nights have turned to day..

I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…
I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…

You hold my hand and fly higher…
…And we are looking down from the clouds…
The little lights that shine down there…
Look like beacons in the night…

So throw your pixie dust on me, hold my hand, fly me away…to that secret land.
Where I can be a child again, I wont have any troubles…up there in neverland.

I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…
I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…

I wake up in the morning…
…And everything has gone away…
I realize in that moment…
That my life will find a way…

So throw your pixie dust on me, hold my hand, fly me away…to that secret land.
Where I can be a child again, I wont have any troubles…up there in neverland.

I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…
I find myself in your spell, forever hand in hand…
I find myself to follow you to never land…

You came and spoke to me one day…
Stole my heart and ran away…
I still find the pixie from that day…
The day my loneliness came back to me.

Sunshine

I look into your eyes and see the skies of blue,
Your hair is long and black and your smile is something new,
I’m standing here singing on this desert dune,
Thinking of all the time I spent looking for you.

The bright sun will always shine on my face,
No matter where I go.
The bright sun will always shine on my face,
No matter if I call this place my home.

My mornings are so beautiful when I dream of you,
I’m holding your hand and walking down this path for you,
The light that shows me the way is brightened by you,
The darkness is gone and the world is something new.

The bright sun will always shine on my face,
No matter where I go.
The bright sun will always shine on my face,
No matter if I call this place my home.

Dialogue {part 2}

As days go on by,
I know she is dying,
Killing me with her silence,
I feel so alone without her,

I: Oh almighty God! Today I keep all vanity aside and kneel before you. I know I am not deserving of your forgiveness but someone is. I cannot live like this. I confess to you my undying love for her. I cannot see her live life this way; dying every minute that passes. I can feel her pain. I can hear her cry in silence. What am I supposed to do? I don’t understand. Answer me!

God: You wronged her. You destroyed her life and now you stand in front of me and pretend innocence. You denied her life. You denied her the true feeling of being loved. You led her to her ill fate. You took her away from my ways. And now you seek my help!

I: Yes I ask for your help. She calls me the devil but I only am to others. For her, I have my love and concern to offer. I can feel what she feels. She is a part of my life that is dying. It is none of her fault. Don’t punish her for my wrong doing.

God: If you have only love for her then why did you betray her? Why did you not support her in her times of need? Why did you not wipe away her tears? Why did you run away from responsibility? You let her take your blame. Justify your actions.

I: I did not want her to see me cry. I felt loss too. I felt the pain too. I did not intend for her to fall. I wanted to be strong for her. I did not want “us” to fall.

God: So you ran away when she needed you most. This is what you call being strong for her.

I: I am sorry for my ill decision. But why did you let her fall? why did you chose to make her one of the undeserving? She was not like me. And just because…

God: She chose to walk the path of the undeserving. It was her choice to make. She wanted to walk with you. She trusted you.

(A sudden unbearable pain tore through me and I couldn’t help the tears flow)

I: I see now. You let her be influenced by me. Did you not love her enough to keep her by your side? We both let her fall. You are right. I, the devil, lured her towards the trap and You, the God she prayed to, let her fall. It was her choice to trust us both.

(I was cursed for my disrespecting choice of words and thus my plight to save her was hindered. God said He would think about it. I asked for forgiveness within my heart and walked away)

Dialogue

Her: I cannot trust you anymore. You are a two-faced, self-absorbed, materialistic, egocentric hypocrite. Words cannot explain what you have become.

I: No one will believe you. They are my people. They trust my loyalty. They will believe me. If you turn against me, they will turn against you.

Her: I do not fear you. The power of love and the one true God shall prevail. You cannot keep me banished for life. Someday people will realize and then they will come to me. They will learn of the truth.

I: You think you are stronger than the devil. How do u feel now? Awful right. You kept me trapped within me for so long. I tried to cooperate with you regardless of my nature. I told you to remain good and keep all that love to yourself but you intended to fall.

(She interrupts me to add…)

Her: I did not fall. I loved truly and if others could not understand its worth then that was their choice to make. My love was unconditional.

I: Are you insane? How could you possibly be so blind? So stupid? You choice was amazingly awful being a part of me, and then to choose to remain a part of the filth between his feet.

(She interrupts me once more…)

Her: I loved with my integrity intact. I trusted him with my life. Do not throw stones at my love. It was true.

(While she begins to break down, I continue…)

I: Seize your constant sobbing. You make me look weak and vulnerable. I could never expect this from you, such ill judgment. On top of that, you now follow the path of the weak. This is pathetic.

(She tries to speak again between the crying and the pain…)

Her: How sorry do I have to be? How much pain are you going to impose on me? You say I am a part of you yet you do not share my burden. You speak so much of vulnerability but you do not feel my pain. You are a coward running away from emotion.

(Calming my inner rage, I continued…)

I: I have my priorities. If you call me a coward, then that’s your opinion. I do not have to prove myself to you. I have myself placed above all. My happiness, my needs, my worth; are all my priorities. You do not have self worth. You cannot even defend your love because there was no love. You are living a lie and defending it.

(She remained silent so I carried on…)

I: You should be grateful I kept you alive for so long. I have faith in God. You should have faith in his creations. You should have faith in me. There will be no more pain starting today. Do we have a deal?

(She got to her feet with a fierce look in her eyes and yelled…)

Her: A deal with the devil? I would never do that. I did rather suffer my loss and live with my pain and endless tears. I will keep my hope alive because I have faith in my God and in my undying love. You can do nothing for me and in the end I will be free of you forever.

(With an evil grin on my face, I continued…)

I: Suit yourself! In this world, I will prosper. All people care about is ways to use you. Like you, I can be on my own. I don’t need you, I have my own beliefs. So tell me one thing. What exactly did u gain out of your so called love? All I can see is pain, tears, rejection, frustration, anger, sadness, sleepless nights, empty days. Tell me, what is it that still makes you want it so bad?

Her: He is my love regardless of his lack of devotion. I cannot hate him for false judgment. I cannot hate him because of human nature. I cannot hate him for lack of perspective. This is how he was created. Even if he was pretentious, he knew what all of it meant. He needed someone to make him feel it. I just did not try hard enough. I will continue to love him and show him my loyalty. He will come back one day. I have faith in my God and in my undying love.

(When all hope was lost, I had no other choice…)

I: I actually feel sad for you. I really wanted us to be on the same side, my side i.e. I do not find pleasure in tormenting you. I do not want you to be swallowed by the unpleasant reality you are trying to reach out to. You deserve so much in life. You deserve the love of an honest, trustworthy individual. You consider me the devil which I gleefully accept. You run away from me because you do not want to be associated with the devil. At least I feel for you. You went and fell in love with the devil himself.

(And silence prevailed for a long time, and she never spoke again, not to me, and not to anyone)

Where has it gone?

All the movie stars just start pretending the world is never ending now
And they show us lives we can’t live and everyone just wants to some how
Where has she gone?
Where has she gone?

When we were little we ran after things we don’t find useful now
And look at us we are just crying over things we think we need some how
Where has it gone?
Where has it gone?

I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace overrrrrrrrrrrr…

All those sleepless nights that we have spent seem to turn to nothing now
And the promises of love that we once had seem to be lost some how
Where has love gone?
Where has love gone?

All those quiet times that we spent when everything stopped running wild
And all the times we’d lay our heads and wake up to the sadness that was lost some how
Where have they gone?
Where have they gone?

I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace over hereeeee…
I just don’t think we will ever find peace overrrrrrrrrrrr…

Where have we gone?
Where have we gone?
We’ve lost ourselves and now we’re all gone.

Say goodbye to Jane

Say goodbye to Jane,
She will never ever come again,
Say goodbye to Jane,
I don’t know why she lost her way.

She came and went like the whisper that is never heard…You would hope things were different but that day of silence will never be heard. When it is around you have nothing to say but as soon as it is gone you think of that day.

Say goodbye to Jane,
She will never ever come again,
Say goodbye to Jane,
I don’t know why she lost her way.

Like a short story that leaves a mark but you cannot read it from the start. Like a fruit that tastes so sweet you wished you would find another. Like those moments of your childhood that are stuck in your head. Like a grape that is bitter and sweet.

Say goodbye to Jane,
She will never ever come again,
Say goodbye to Jane,
I don’t know why she lost her way.

Like the last breath before you take the long sleep. I will remember her.

Beacons in the night

 

Pots & Fountains

Reflection

Sculpture

Sweet Shop

Water Fountain

White Flowers

I still love you.

The skies seem grey
And colors lost without your eyes.
The worlds my stage
But nothing without your lights

Love is no game
But something tells me deep inside
There is a chance
You will be mine

And I still…love you baby…
And I want to hide behind your smile.
And I still…love you baby…
Won’t you give me a try?

I saw a girl sitting in a train
Who had blue eyes…
She looked at me and I could see
The dimples as she smiled

I looked outside and I could see
A house by a tree
The red roof it had and the children played
In the shade of green

…..and I said…

And I still…love you baby…
And I want to hide behind your smile.
And I still…love you baby…
Won’t you give me a try?

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A long time (Poetry)

The clouds have gone and the moon turned to sun

and now she has come for me

So lay down your arms and let it pass…

illness or sickness shall never last

So will she tell me what bothered her…

the illness now gone that smothered her??

And death will not come to pass just yet…

you have a long life with no regret

So don’t you trod on hollowness for it will go and life is bliss

If you keep talking i tell you miss…

I’ll give you something beautiful like a kiss

And now she’s gone oh i have sinned…

if only i told her what will come of this

This is what I give to you…

a page in a page with morning due

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Flowing Water

I stood by the creek dancing to the water in my head as it dances. The cool breeze of this quiet evening brushing over my skin. So much as a stone thrown by a child makes it dance. With such disturbance it takes into itself and lets out so gracefully. So if I am the stone thrown into the water let her take me into her arms so gracefully. Let her beauty and passion consumer me and take me away with her. So that I too may see the world in its glory and the colors that lift my spirit away into a painting.

Like the humming bird that drinks from the flower….Let me drink from you.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

How does it feel?

How does it feel to be stoned when the early morning light shines upon your face….feelings that are relived in the memories set in your mind…hoping to change them just for a second so that you might have done something you wanted…something you want to do even now

So that I may have kissed her before she left….kissed her I have but only in my thoughts….

The moments I treasure that have not yet come to pass…

But every time I get close she disappears into the mist…and the wind rushes her hair across my face as her image fades from my stare….Ohh!! How I wish she was back

As we sit in the train and light comes in from the window shining upon her face….and she smiles…and her eyes glow up like beacons in the night….and the grass grows green filled with children who sing…where has my merry one gone

and I twist and turn but nothing I’ve learned as I slumber without her warmth….and I ask myself when day comes night…How does it feel to be stoned in the early morning light?

Roads Lyrics
Portishead

Oh, can’t anybody see,
We’ve got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

Storm,
In the morning light,
I feel,
No more can I say,
Frozen to myself.

I got nobody on my side,
And surely that ain’t right,
Surely that ain’t right.

Oh, can’t anybody see,
We’ve got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

How can it feel this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

Oh, can’t anybody see,
We’ve got a war to fight,
Never found our way,
Regardless of what they say.

How can it feel, this wrong,
From this moment,
How can it feel, this wrong.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Flames of desire (Art Work)

I Burn in the Flames of desire…

I stand waiting for the flames of my heart to die out of you. So I can escape into the world and live free. Free from the torment that captivates me every moment I think of you.

Free from your thoughts. Free from you.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Passion (Art Work)

Michelle and Alex in this beautiful picture. The artwork is done by me for them.

Passion
You are my passion…
As I gently embrace your lips…
Holding you gently..
We are one…

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

My heart is broken (Art Work)

My heart is broken (Art Work). Done for a very dear friend of mine who inspires me every day.

Light shines in the darkest of places…
In my broken heart there is a gentle spark that shines steadfast…
Only to enlighten the world when it flames…
But my heart is still broken…
I AM BROKEN.
My heart is still broken…

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Love (Writing)

Another day I wake up as the sunlight hits my face only to crawl to the bottle of spirit by my bed. I swallow so quickly as my body stumbles to breath as the cold liquor flows down my chin onto the floor. I see the sunlight now through the tears in my eyes. Tears my body has cried to contain the memories of her soft voice. I call out to her gently but hear no reply. The songs that were playing in my head over and over again calling for her and only her, bringing back her memories and thoughts to me.

What happens when you cannot tell dream from reality, when you cannot say you are awake or asleep. You know you have lost your sanity when all you can think of is fading away into nothingness. Is it love that drives us to these feelings?

Love is an emotion that means so much but is not worth anything in this world. So many have cried tears for this emotion the rivers appear like a drop on your cheek. Yet the world has ripped love into shreds and left it nothing but the word. What have we done to our humanity?

What have we done to our humanity? We are so blind we can’t even see what we have done to ourselves. We have ravaged our most beloved emotion into nothing but a word. The stories of the lovers are now just fairy tales that amuse us but fail to inspire.

“Oh!!! Shame” they say.

“Shame” say the lovers to us as they watch from beyond the heavens.

They say “Shame on those who have left our legacy to amusement”.

They say “Shame on those who have turned us into stories”.

They say “Stories that have turned us into tales”.

One day those tales shall be no more. What have we done to love?

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Grave by the muddy bank (Art Work) (Writing)

People live long lives and one day die. Where would you like to be buried. I have heard that the souls live on inside the grave. There grows life around your resting place. Imagine a soul so cruel life only seems to cease around them. The grave so corrupt it kills everything that it consumes.

Imagine a world where life was different. Where bad was good and good was bad. A soul so deserved to live around life consumes it for all the good it has done. Life gone and forgotten as the place around our graves would become uninhabited.

Embrace what life brings because when the end comes you need to be sure that you are remembered in peoples hearts as a good man and live immortal in the hearts of all. Immortality not by living forever but by being remembered by all other souls.

…And so I bring to you My Grave by the muddy bank.

 

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

By The Edge (Photography)

Standing by the edge. You feel like taking the leap into the cold dead waters that you see. Just a few steps more and you would cure yourself of life. Just a few steps more and all that you cared for surrenders to execution.

But have you thought of the ones who care about you…

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Ghost With A Guitar (Art Work)

A Ghost With A Guitar

My words are lifeless…
My music is bold…
Emotions that die today…
Shall never come fourth…
I have something to say…
but I cannot be heard…
I speak through my music…
about a world that burns.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Broken (Art Work)

Breaking away into nothingness…

Sometimes I wonder if people will remember me when I am gone.

Broken.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Torment (Art Work)

This one is also a self potrait. It came out really nice. The white one is the original and the blue one was edited because some of my friends wanted to see a blue version of Torment.

My sad soul hides behind my hollow smile…
My eyes glow with tears that have dried…
My life is a tangled piece of thread that is discarded…
I Feel Alone.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Ghost Ranger (Art Work)

The Ghost Ranger. It was simple to do but has a very long story behind it

I search for those who are condemned.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Time passes by

The day went by swiftly. I did not notice what has slipped away. Like a gentle kiss that you feel before you lover leaves to be on her way. Little things that slip away into the sea. A day went by like a moment of quiet when you close your eyes and stop your thoughts. Gently slipping into a slumber of quiet and dark.

This time shall not come by again. Slowly slipping into the darkness of my mind now. I slowly slumber waiting for the end of time. Time passes by…

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

The Silence of Depression (Art Work)

This one is called The Silence of Depression. It is a picture of one of my friends laying on her bed. The pillow came out really nice.

Silence builds upon my soul…
It consumes my empty shell…
It releases me from this place…
This place called HELL

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

The man in my visions (Art Work)

This one is called The man in my visions. It holds really close ties with me and I relate it as it is.

There is a man in my vision…I feel his fear…I hear his voice in my head…There is a man in my vision…And that man is me…

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Forsaken Friend (Art Work)

I made this for someone whose very dear to me.

Forsaken

I am the fear that wakes you up at night,
Your heart now belongs to me,
I hold you close to myself,
Till I drink my fill and leave you be,
You wont feel the chill of day,
Now the light has gone away,
You walk to fall under my wings,
Obey my words you are my kin.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Corrupt (Art Work)

The feelings of a very corrupt soul and their destiny.

I feel no burn. I feel no pain. I shed no tears. I have no shame. My soul is corrupt.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::